Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
