I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
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Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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