Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
