THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
