Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
