I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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