looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
