Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
