My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
