I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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