If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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