How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment