is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
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I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
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This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way