we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
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Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
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Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear