I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
