you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We named our party play list daddy issues
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
