I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize