I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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