paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
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I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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