Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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