Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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