I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Found the puke drawer
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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