I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
