Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize