Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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