You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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