Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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