I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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