Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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