so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
