I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
