I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
