direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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