The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
