just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
