Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
