...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
