Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
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