I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
