Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You're like the curious george of whores
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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