yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
