We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
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Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
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So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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