Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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