I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We left an ass print on the piano.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We talked him into tasing himself.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
