i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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