Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
