dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
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Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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