Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
