is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
