so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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