We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
