I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
