Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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