let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
