she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
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I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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