she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
