HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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