Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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