There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she told me i tasted like america
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
