He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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