How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I look better un-naked...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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