is your mom at the bar?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
