a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
