Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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