Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
