hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
